From 'Free Appreciation Society' magazine. Issue 62. Sep1994

All Roads Lead to Southend

Cry of Love UK Tour 1994 (& Beyond)

It seems the last couple of years there’s been so much exciting stuff happening. During the latter part of the eighties there were very few gigs that brought back the excitement of when I was 17 going on 20. You know the thing. When you’d get really freaked about the show you were going to, days before and the wind up to a gig on Saturday night would start on Wednesday! Well it seems for me those days have kinda returned in the last few years. Shows by Lynyrd Skynyrd and Bad Company, Pearl Jam and Alice in Chains. Then of course, Paul Rodgers and Cry of Love. My attendance of live shows has probably risen by 500% in the last three years, and I’ve seen some fantastic gigs. With the Paul Rodgers shows over, the next big deal on the diary was the Cry of Love UK tour 1994. I had already planned to catch all nine shows, when the band were put on the Donnington bill! For me, that was the cream on top. My friends and I wanted to go anyway but hadn’t bought tickets as Cry were in Nottingham the night before and according to their schedule had a couple of days off after that show. The idea of having a chance to hang out, drink some beer and play some music the following day took priority. When Jo from Columbia Records rang and told me they’d been confirmed on the second stage I was in heaven. Running alongside this and adding to the whole buzz were the letters coming in from you guys: “Cry of Love are playing in Buckley – Can’t wait! The album is wicked!”, “Dave. Cry of Love at The Oval in Norwich on the 11th June. Yeah!”
With our works holiday year starting in April, I was able to slap in from the 1st to the 15th June. Covering the whole tour. YES! YES! YES! The day before the first show I wrote the last pages of FAS 61 and got it to Tony for printing. I was FREE! HOT DAMN!

MEET THE CAST
Having driven to Wolverhampton for the Christmas shows with Robert Plant I knew they’d picked the right place to start the tour. We drove up early afternoon, myself, Rich (also known as Pat) & Vic (also known as Viv). We knew exactly where to go but still got lost and couldn’t find the car park from hell, probably a good thing. We eventually made it to the venue and Pat and Viv headed to the pub while I went into the building to check out who was there. I’d not been to the Wulfren Hall before and headed straight into the Civic to find them setting up a beer festival! Yummy! Wandering around the back I found the Wulfren Hall and was impressed with it’s size. Like the Civic it’s a good room and has great sound. Walking in I bumped straight into James who was setting up the stage sound. “Robert and Audley are downstairs” he informed me after a quick chat. Heading down to the dressing room I found Robert and he was as pleased to see me as I was to see him. We caught up on some news. Apparently the Aerosmith shows had gone well. The ZZ Top shows had varied though and in New York (where I had almost gone to check them out) Robert said the show was rather poorly attended. Strange as I think the Antenna album’s great but it’s selling zip! I filled him in on the Rodgers dates and Steve Lukather replacing Neal Schon – Then to be replaced himself by Reeves Gabrels. We then headed to the ‘production office’ to sort out passes. Audley was there on the phone and threw a smile and a wave. Bob Davies (also known as ‘Bobzilla’ & ‘Bobman’) was slaving over a hot computer. Bob is just too cool and within seconds I was holding three passes. Audley got off the phone and we all had a good chat. “Where’s Rich?” asked Audley. “Oh, they’ve gone to the pub”, “Well let’s go and join them then. I wanna go eat anyway and I have to get a chicken burger for our guitar tech”. So out we went into the sunshine. Walking out of the building we passed the bus and off stepped Kelly, who joined us. Moving towards the front of the Civic we found Pat and Viv standing across the road. “I thought we were gonna get killed in that pub”, Pat told us. “We walked in and all the conversation stopped. It was like the Slaughtered Lamb in An American Werewolf in London!” I introduced everyone to Viv (he was with us at the Rock City show last year but didn’t get to meet the band) and we headed out to Burger King. Having got the chicken burger, Audley decided he wanted to check out a Tandoori he’d passed while Robert and Kelly headed back to the venue to get ready for the show. So we all split up and myself, Pat and Viv found a decent bar and had a few beers.

Arriving back at the venue for the show, we missed just about all the support band’s set (The Steamboat Band) and heading for the bar I found one of the 50p off ‘Brother’ leaflets sent out with the last issue. I was amazed to find my quote on it and that was the first tie I’d seen it! (Jo got some printed especially for FAS 61 later). I showed it to Pat and he cracked up. It’s just so funny to find your name on something like that. Walking back into the main hall I was immediately approached by three FAS readers (don’t expect any name checks here though as there were too many of you over the tour!). After a quick chat the lights dimmed and on came the band. Wolverhampton had a good crowd and there was a good buzz in the hall. The band responded with an excellent show. The highlight was a superb jamming version of DRIVE IT HOME. I was surprised when the audience drown Kelly out during BAD THING and he just smiled and let them take the chorus. Quite amazing. The set was pretty much the whole album except for SAVING GRACE, adding the Skynyrd tune ON THE HUNT and on the encores an un-issued Wilson Pickett tune called MINISKIRT MINI (didn’t like this cut too much). This show set me up for the tour. The band were tight and fluid, certainly the continual touring had done them good. They looked much better too, with more movement and dynamics. Robert’s bass solo was a gas. Hugely Audley Fraser influenced and I’m sure he’d be proud!

After the show more readers made themselves known and it was good to have the time to chat a bit. We headed downstairs to find the band were pleased with the show too and I was introduced to Roy (the boy), who was the bands guitar tech and Joe (the Bus), the band’s driver. As the band started to relax and wind down they invited anyone still hanging around for autographs backstage for a chat. Yet again, I was collared by a couple of readers and the ones I’d met earlier. I was amazed at how many of you guys were there and was pleased you all enjoyed the show. It was good to meet you. As the dressing room filled up we headed upstairs into the hall to get some air. Again, I was caught by two members and we had a long chat. I lost track of time completely and eventually Robert came up to find out what had happened to us! The next day was London and besides a couple of interviews in the morning the band had the day off. I got the hotel details and we arranged to meet the next day. We drove home and got lost again. I couldn’t believe it! A 90 minute journey turned into three hours! But it was a great start to the tour.

MEET THE NEW SINGER IN BAD COMPANY!
Pat couldn’t make the London show so I went down with Viv. We parked out at Highgate and took the tube to the hotel. We arrived to find them showering and doing laundry. Robert and Audley both wanted to head into London for some shopping. Having dropped some gear off at the venue we headed to the guitar stores as Robert wanted some curly leads (myself and Audley are both Strat fans so we had a ball checking out all the guitars – I found his taste in colours and finishes a bit ‘out there’ though. “There’s no hope for you is there?” I said as he admired an orange Strat!). Finally we headed into the Virgin Megastore and we were still in there when soundcheck time came round! This was the best soundcheck I’ve ever seen. After the usual One Two, One Two – TWO and the burps and farts, they played a superb version of Tom Petty’s MARY JANE’S LAST DANCE and an awesome version of DRIFT AWAY. Both myself and Viv were blown away. After the soundcheck we went out to eat. The gig was good too. A packed house and a magic crowd who blew Kelly away with the volume of their singing. During BAD THING he actually broke down laughing. ON THE HUNT went down a treat too. During the gig I ran into Andy Ryan who was having a ball with his friends and was grabbed by a couple of FAS readers. After the show we headed up to the balcony and had a beer with Amanda (who know works for WEA) and Paola, a friend of Roberts. The band came out to mingle and Robert introduced me to Dave (Bucket) Colwell and Robert Hart, the new Bad Company singer. Yup, Brian Howe sure has left, and from what Bucket said it’s a relief to everyone. “It feels like a band again now”, he told me. “We’re writing loads of material too.” Does this mean we might see you in the UK now? “Oh Yeah, I hope so.” Well I guess we’ll have to wait and see but both are very nice guys and I certainly look forward to hearing the new album.

WHERE’S THE CASTLE?
The following night was Nottingham. Audley arranged to ring me and come up to the house. Robert stayed in London and I arranged to pick him up at the station in the afternoon. Sure enough Audley came round and had some breakfast, played some CD’s and had a go on a couple of guitars. Quite where the afternoon went I’m not sure but all too soon it was time to pick up Robert (we were late, sorry Robert!) and head to the venue. On the way from the station I drove around Nottingham castle as Audley had asked about it. I told him how American tourists had been pissed off to find that it didn’t look like it does in the Kevin Costner film, but it had never looked like that anyway! Hollywood eh! A truly great Tandoori is laid to rest pre-gig. At Rock City, Cry of Love were due to play on the small Disco 2 stage while the pre-Donnington party raged upstairs. This was a joke and downstairs the room was packed while the band waded through the set in what quickly became an oven. Again a few FAS people in the audience. After the show we hung out backstage and watched the zoo as Pantera picked fights with journalists, and various musos and guests wandered around drinking free beers. At around 1:30am Pat and Viv left (very drunk) and I headed with the band to the bus to make the journey to Donnington. The bus was pretty cool actually with chairs and tables up front in the driving area, which also had TV and video. This is followed by the bunks. Then at the back there’s two sofas, a fridge (sometimes!), a microwave, the toilet – and most importantly the CD player. Being a bad traveller I was dubious about the journey but it was OK with the beers flowing and the CD player pumping out Skynyrd and Elton John (the CD of the tour was Captain Fantastic, an album both myself and Kelly agree is a classic). Those not in the back were up front watching A FISH CALLED WANDA. Kelly stayed back along with James, Audley and Robert. Kelly and the CD player were almost joined at the hip and over the rest of the tour I spent a lot of time back there with him just playing tunes and drinking beer. But more on that later. We arrived ‘somewhere’ and stopped so everyone drifted off to bed. I was woken later by Joe and handed a much needed coffee. This guy us an angel. We weren’t on the site yet and for the next couple of hours Joe was buggered about by the site staff who couldn’t make up their minds where we had to go. As he became more and more ‘frustrated’ I felt we spent most of the time going backwards? This made me feel really good (NOT!). When we finally hit the site proper and parked up for the day I was straight outside for ‘air’. PHEW! The solid ground felt very good and within ten minutes or so I felt fine and was back to my obnoxious self!

MONSTERS OF ROCK
The Bobman handed me a laminate. “Today Dave, you are our manager”. I looked at the laminate which read Mike Renault, their manager back at ESP in LA. “Oh Cool” says I, “I can boss you about all day!”, “Yeah” agreed Jason, “But I’d like to have a word with you about that back-pay you owe me Mike…”. “Ahh…Yes…” with laminate around neck I made a sharp exit and headed onto the site for a walk around. The gates had just opened and I was amazed to find people queuing for beer still with the hammering of last nights session clearly in their eyes. I like Donnington because the site is so big but I was a bit dismayed to find all the shirts for the day had been marked up by at least £2. The Cry of Love shirts which had been £12 became £14. This I must say wasn’t down to the band at all. The prices for food and beer were dubious too. Surely they’d make enough money if stuff was at pub prices. It hit home the reason why I don’t go to many festivals anymore. You get ripped off left, right and centre. At least the Donnington bill won out value-wise with a great selection of bands. After wandering over and having a look around the stalls and the main stage I headed back and was given my meal tickets by the Bobman. “They are non-replaceable. Don’t lose them. Breakfast is being served now”. Good. I headed over with Kelly and Audley. The food was good and it put my stomach to rest. Heading back to the bus, shore power was hooked up and the CD player came on. Within no time I was heading out to catch some of Headswim’s set. And good they were too. As Cry of Love’s set drew closer a little bit of nerves started to show. Mainly a worry of being hit by flying piss bottles! As it was they went over well and very little was thrown. The MTV cameraman however did take a bottle of piss right in the back (which splattered all around him) but he’d prepared by covering himself in polythene! Jason got someone’s lunch in his lap but otherwise it was all pretty friendly stuff and it was all taken in an immensely good natured way by t he band. Who after the set, said it had been ‘fun’. Pat and Viv show up a couple of numbers in and eventually resigned themselves to paying (Bob had forgotten to give them the pass bracelets while at Rock City). After the show I got them their laminates and we went back for some dinner. Pat informs everyone he threw his guts up in Nottm’s market square while on his way to the Donnington bus (twice!). We didn’t catch all the bads but Zakk Wylde’s Pride and Glory went down well as opening act on the main stage playing only about four songs! We watched Pantera (who really were excellent) from backstage left. I’d wanted to see Therapy? But only heard them. Sounded awesome too. Aerosmith were great but not as good as I’d expected them to be. Back to the second stage Skin sounded like Thunder and were OK (if you like Thunder). Terrorvision I don’t like but were much better than expected. The Wildhearts were also okay, but never brilliant. The second stage would have belonged to Biohazard if they hadn’t been stupid enough to try and invite the whole audience onto the stage. They are a great band and the album is brilliant but they aren’t making too many friends in the venue end of the business. After their show had been stopped (and rightly so) they took the frustration out on the dressing room, chair flying through the window. Quite funny really and very dumb, especially as they’ll have to pay for it anyway! I was amazed later when watching the MTV report on the show, Bruce Dickinson said something like “All this shock horror about Biohazard smashing up their dressing room. I thought this was Rock and Roll. It’s all about rebellion”. What a knobhead you are Bruce. I’m a rebel, I’m going to smash up someone’s dressing room, or club, or get the audience to do it…Get a life. Donnington has already suffered two deaths. A stage invasion was just plain stupid. It was chaos and could easily have been nasty.

As the sun set and Aerosmith went into an impromptu (and out of tune) KINGS AND QUEENS my attention started to wander. The fireworks after they’d finished were awesome. Pat and Viv came back to say goodbye and then headed for the bus home and I got into the bus backstage – next stop Glasgow. Or maybe not. As we headed out onto the M1 I asked if Joe could let me off at junction 26. I only live just around the corner. I wasn’t sure if my guts would stand the journey and so I said I’d drive up in the morning. Also the bus was a bit full. “Don’t get off the bus Dave” said Bob. “It’s okay, I’ll be there tomorrow. No problem”. Famous last words.

I’VE HAD BETTER DAYS
Without going into too much detail, my car exploded about 20 miles from Scotch corner on the A1. I hobbled home and some six hours after starting out, I was back in Nottingham at my Mothers, trying to get train times. The train involved two changes and a bus! And took about six and a half hours. In desperation I rang the airport. One flight one way £80, it was due in Glasgow ten minutes after the train which was only £45. “Dad I need a lift to the station NOW!” I arrived in Glasgow at 7:10pm (the gig was the following night). Got to the hotel, checked-in and went upstairs. I had a coffee and rang Bob’s room. “I told you not to get off the bus Dave!”, “Yup well I’m not leaving it for the rest of the tour, that’s for sure.” “Good, that’s cool – let’s round everyone up and go eat”. Myself, Bob, Audley, Kelly and Robert headed out and had a great meal and a few beers. Bob headed out to check out a band he wanted to see. We went to the bus to watch Reservoir Dogs. “Are you stopping on the bus tonight?” asked Joe. “I didn’t know the bus was so close, I’ve just paid for a room. I guess it’s just not my day but at least I’m here!”

The following day we check out some of the music stores and early afternoon I head off to find my friend Bill Smith’s house. I was supposed to stay with him the night before but due to the ensuing chaos and the fact that he’s not on the phone, I couldn’t get in touch. I caught what I thought was the right train and arrived almost right outside his door! Mmmm maybe today was going to be a little better than yesterday. Myself, Bill and his wife Anne headed o the pub for a beer and to use the phone. To ask Bob about getting Bill’s son Paul in (he’s underage). The Bobman sorts this out no problem and I head back for the soundcheck arranging to meet Bill at the show. The venue (Cat House) is cool. A good size and low ceiling. Looks like it could be a sweaty night in prospect. Upstairs in the huge dressing room I’m introduced to Iain Monk who runs the Skynyrd ‘zine and has come over from Edinburgh to see the show. Nice guy too. I then play pinball with Jason until we’re told it’s time for dinner and we all head out for a good meal courtesy of the venue owner. Purely by chance, Bill arrives in the same place as he couldn’t get into the venue even though Bob has made sure there are passes on the door for him. I give him my pass and Jason and Audley also give him theirs, to make sure he’ll get in next time. After the meal we retire to the bar for a quick drink and are joined by Iain Monk and friend who’s also there. A rather shy Paul Smith asks Jason to sign his copy of the CD. Bill has just been to buy some stuff and has got two Bonnie Raitt CD’s and also the new John Martyn double compilation. I’d been looking at this earlier in the day but he surprises me by pulling out the booklet and showing me a large picture of Koss with John Martyn at Victoria Palace in March 1975! After a couple of beers we head back to the venue and Anne heads home as she doesn’t feel too well and the idea of being in a red hot venue doesn’t appeal much.This time everyone gets in okay and we head upstairs where Paul gets the rest of the signatures on his CD sleeve. Leacing theband to get ready, we head to the bar. Glasgow was another great show. Spoilt only by Bill having his CD’s ripped off during the gig. He had his new stuff and Paul’s signed CD in a bag by his feet with his coat for the duration of the show. At the end, the bag and discs were gone. There was also a fight at the front and I can only hope that the same guy was trying to nick something else, got caught in the act and had his head shoved down his f****** throat! Afterwards Bob got a CD off the bus and the band made sure they all signed it again. We all hung out for a bit and then headed for the bus. Hey Bill, you were wrecked! Next stop Newcastle. The home of Newcastle Brown Ale!

PUBS ARE OPEN !
I really don’t remember much about the journey to Newcastle. We just stayed in the back drinking beer and playing music. As everyone else drifted off to bed, Kelly and myself just kicked back, drank too much and played some tunes. When we all got up, we headed into the town where the band were due to play, an in-store acoustic set at ‘Our Price’. This was cool and they played a fine acoustic rendition of the unreleased BROKEN TOY. Jason also surprised me by getting himself a copy of ‘Love it to Death’ by Alice Cooper, one of my fave albums of all time. For the next hour or so everyone talks about Alice Cooper and that seminal band (69 – 74 RIP). At the gig soundcheck I’m treated to a spot-on version of EIGHTEEN from said album (I felt a trickle from the corner of my eye when they did this…) and another rippin’ run through of MARY JANES LAST DANCE. The gig itself got of to a slow start and Kelly had trouble with his microphone cutting out. This has been happening at every show but was usually resolved in a few seconds. Tonight the mic went down and didn’t come back on. Amazingly, instead of going straight to Robert’s mic, he starts to dismantle his on-stage! This seemed to hold them back and it was a while before they got back into it. After the show, Audley finds his brown leather jacket has been nicked from the dressing room. This bums everyone out a fair bit! No long drive tonight and a day off in Newcastle tomorrow. We get on the bus and head to the hotel. Robert proceeds to cover my jeans in Newcastle Brown Ale, I’ve no spare pair. “I’ll lend you some” he says. We head into the hotel and it looks like I’ve pissed myself! It’s all very funny. In his room he hands me a pair of Bell-bottoms which barely fit. Everyone cracks up. They’re so tight I can’t lift my legs properly! Robert has to do his laundry in the morning and promises to wash mine with all his stuff. Everyone wants to go to a club, which is just down the road. We head down but I can’t get in because I’ve got training shoes on. Can’t say I was too bothered. So Kelly hands me his beer (from the bus) and his key. I go back to the bus and think of getting an early night. I turn on the CD and a few minutes later, Robert knocks on the door. “I came up to keep you company”. A couple of minutes later, another knock and it’s Kelly, then Roy, James and Audley. Before you know it we’re having our own party. It was a great night too. Eventually everyone drifts off to bed and it’s down to me, Kelly Robert. By about 3am it’s down to me and Kelly. He’s brought a fair few CD’s with him and he’s bought a good deal of stuff in Europe and UK. His tastes are wide and good. We’ve a lot in common with regards musical tastes. We go through his discs and pick out our favourite tracks, the conversation never stops. We watch the sun come up behind the bridge visible from the bus. At around 6am it’s fully light. Kelly heads into the hotel and I get into one of the bunks knackered and very drunk but very happy also, what a great night! Awake at around 11am and very little hangover! I can’t believe it! Head into the hotel to find out what’s happening. Robert is off to do his laundry. Kelly hands me a pile of vitamins and a painkiller (as he’s done everyday thus far). We ring around the rooms to find out who’s around. Audley is up and Roy is ready to go out. We decide to get some food and just walk around. “The pubs are open” adds Roy. We find a pub that does veggie food, much to Roy’s dismay but he actually admits it was pretty good, afterwards. Kelly and Audley are both shocked when we order beers! Kelly has water and Audley coffee. The food goes down well and afterwards we set off walking towards what we hope is Newcastle centre. On our way we pas The Keep and go in. It’s an amazing place with a labyrinth of stairs and floors. We have a great time there and then head for the town. We end up in the ‘Our Price’ where they did the in-store and Kelly buys some more stuff including a Nick Drake compilation. Roy is almost sucked into every pub we pass and resisting both Virgin and HMV we head back to a place we passed earlier and have a couple. We also call into a newsagents and the band stand and read the gig reports from Donnington in Kerrang! and some of the other magazines. They get a thumbs up in pretty well everything. This pleases them. Late afternoon we head back to the hotel and tell everyone about The Keep. A couple of the others head up there, but it’s closed. Audley, Robert, Roy and myself decide to go back to the Riverside, where john Martyn is playing. Kelly hangs back to get sometime to himself. John Martyn is in fine form but the mix is poor and his guitar is inaudible. He does however mention that one of his band has had a jacket nicked from their van! Roy and Robert head off somewhere else while Audley and myself watch the show. After this we head back to the hotel and onto the bus. Kelly is already there with a beer in hand and the CD player on. Another late night ensues. I’m starting to get used to this and I LIKE IT!

THE MEAL FROM HELL
There’s not really much at Buckley. In fact, I didn’t even know where it was until a few days before the tour! The venue (The Tivoli) is great though and pretty much the same set out as Nottingham Rock City. We arrive and head straight to the fish and chip shop. I don’t fancy fish so have chips and a pasty thing which is described as ‘savory’ (I think of mince and spices and herbs; sounds good. I’ll have one). The girl serving looks at me weird. We get back to the bus and I find my ‘savory’ is a bland mix of mashed potato with onion and a few herbs, so I’ve ordered chips and potato! Marvellous. Pass the sauce please! The venue opens and we lug the gear in. During the soundcheck the band run through a cool version of ROCK STEADY. After that there isn’t much to do so we sit on the bus and play CD’s. Before the show we head out for dinner. The ‘restaurant’ is a bit – basic, and the menu poor. The starter of Beef Soup doesn’t go down too well with the veggie’s involved! Booked by the promoter it turns into a meal from hell. I have chicken, it’s not good and I’m glad I had those chips earlier. This doesn’t affect the gig, which is a scorcher. DRIVE IT HOME ran into a Skynyrd number tonight. I think it was TRUCK DRIVING MAN but I can’t remember. Again, a number of FAS members in the audience make themselves known to me. Hell, I’m starting to feel like a celebrity and it’s all a bit weird! From Buckley, we head out to Bradford but stop outside Joe’s house for the night. This is really cool and we all get a shower and a decent breakfast in the morning. Joe’s home is really nice and we all browse through his CD collection and play our favourite stuff. He’s a fine host and basically gives everyone open house. The coffee flows and the washing machine is put to good use! He also gave Kelly a bottle of Bushmill’s Scotch to take onto the bus. This came in very handy!

I’VE PLAYED HERE!
We head to Bradford early in the afternoon. I tell the band about the set-up at Rio’s, where I’ve played myself (thanks to FAS member Tony Harland who set up a gig for my band). We arrive to find the stage pretty much as I remember it, nailed together and not very sturdy. Pre-soundcheck Kelly wanders around with his Telecaster propping it against any semi-hollow material to see what it sounds like. This includes the urinal in the Gents toilets! Jason plays the video machines and the pinball machine. I ring my parents to find out about my car. Apparently, I’d blown a valve and was lucky to make it home. It’s being repaired and is going to be very expensive. Oh well! I go out with Jason and get a take-away Tandoori which we bring back to eat on the bus. It’s a bit crap but there’s plenty of it! Pat and Viv arrive and the Bradford FAS posse are out in force. Both Tony Harland and Addy Adams soon make themselves known. The show is excellent. SAVING GRACE has now been added to the set after I asked about it, and despite it being a bit rough around the edges, it goes down a storm. Robert asks me to film some of the show with his video camera as he wants to get them doing SAVING GRACE as it’s so rarely performed. I film from stage left and then from behind them. After the show they so do the usual round of autographs while I chat to Tony, Addy and a couple of others then back on the bus for the drive to Norwich.

SOMETIMES A KERB WILL DO JUST FINE!
The Oval Rockhouse in Norwich is run by Iron Maiden’s production team (or it’s something to do with Maiden anyway). Both Joe and Roy have been promising us a very heavy night. I don’t think anyone was prepared for it. By the time we got out of bed, the venue was open and the bar was serving. Almost everyone opted for coffee. Joe, who couldn’t be bothered to take off his pyjama bottoms, just pulled his shorts over them! As a fashion statement, this was somewhat alarming! The people who run this venue are brilliant and the place has a great feel as soon as you walk in. It’s a real Rock pub, not just a place that has Rock bands once a week. We all felt very welcome but one look at the room and we knew we were in for a very hot night. Everyone kinda chilled out here and got very laid back, which was the general vibe of the pub. After the soundcheck, I was on the bus with Audley and he was playing around on an acoustic, warming up, and we went through some of our favourite songs. We talked about Thin Lizzy and sat and worked out DANCING IN THE MOONLIGHT. They would have done it too but I couldn’t remember all the words! Robert asked me to video the show again and I got most of it before his film ran out. I was standing up by the desk watching James attempt to mix and do the lights at the same time. This would have been fine but the lighting desk was weird and wouldn’t do what he wanted! This was a really superb gig and the room baked. Joe, who changed into his leather trousers, was later to regret that decision. Again there were plenty of FAS members in attendance and a couple of people had driven a fair distance to catch the show. Afterwards we were invited to attend a club but opted to stay with our new friends at the venue. There’s quite a lot I don’t remember but at one point Robert was behind the bar serving and I downed one of Bob’s drinks which, I found out later, was highly volatile! When I left the bar it was broad daylight. I remember getting to bed but awoke to find myself rather uncomfortable. I opened my eyes and was actually staring at the kerb! I was against the side of the bus and the pavement! I decided to stay exactly there, rolled over and went back to sleep. I crawled back into the bus later. Next thing I remember was Joe waking me up and giving me a coffee (this man is my hero!). I told him the previous afternoon I’d ride down the front for the journey to Southend and keep him company. He was just letting me know he was ready to go. I looked down at my feet to find my socks covered in mud! Joe then handed me my cap. “What were you doing sleeping at the side of the bus this morning?” until he said that I’d kinda hoped it was just a dream! I can only think that I got out for a piss and passed out! The coffee kicked in and I moved down to the seat at the front, next to Joe. A few minutes after we started, Robert showed up and looked how I felt. We had more coffee. It wasn’t long before everyone knew where I’d slept, but it was funny.

WE’RE ALL GOING ON A SUMMER HOLIDAY
The drive to Southend seemed much longer than it probably was and after Robert headed back to bed, me and Joe just sat talking while he drove the bus. We both agreed that we’d be happy to stay out on the road like this forever and were going to miss the guys after the last show. About 20 minutes from the hotel, my stomach took control and I had to go back and lie down. Kelly got up and gave me the standard vitamins, painkiller and water. He didn’t look too good himself! Fortunately, the drive to Southend was the only work of the day and the gig was the following night. We got to the hotel and Joe asked for shore power (it saves the bus batteries) but was told he’d have to pay for it. Bob jumped in and booked us a room instead. That will not be forgotten Bob. Everyone crawled into the hotel and got showered up; today was Fun Fair day! Once everyone had got their heads together we moved down to the seafront. Robert hung back to catch some rays and meet Paola. Once on the front we headed for food. While everyone else was deciding where NOT to go, James and I went into a small café and ordered Plaice and Chips and a couple of Buds. Hair of the Dog indeed and it certainly did put a little life back into me. We all hit the fair and had a great time going on all the rides. I avoided all the spin-you-round stuff and stuck to the dodgems. These turned out to be very fast and a good collision would actually lift the other car onto two wheels. It was every man for himself I can tell you. After this we walked along the arcades and found a superb bike game that took up to four players at a time. We shoved a fair amount of money into this but had a ball! Later we went and played Laser Tag. This was brutal as it was intensely hot and loud. Jason kept moaning his gun didn’t work but that didn’t seem to stop the bastard from shooting me every time he passed! On leaving that, I was drenched in sweat, partly heat – mainly hangover. We got some supper and headed back to the hotel. This day passed very quickly indeed. Back at the hotel myself, Bobzilla, James, Roy and Joe met secretly in the bar and discussed how to cause havoc at the show the following noght. Many plans were discussed but we settled on a couple of pranks for the last show. Southend was the last UK gig. I rang home to check on my car, which was fixed and so I ran Pat to make sure both him and Viv were still coming down in it. Everything was cool. The posse stated to fill the chairs around our table and pretty soon all by Jason joined us and were ordering rounds from the bar. When the bar shut we hit on room service. We built up quite a collection of cans which slowly turned into a tower on the table and while taking some photographs, the whole thing crashed to the ground. Bushmills beckoned and so we headed to the bus for some music. Having no shore power, we were limited to low volume and candles. It was still a good night though. As usual, me and Kelly were last off the bus and just passed the night talking over Captain Fantastic.

Arriving at the Esplanade for the show, everyone was very laid back having enjoyed a good day off and a lot of fun. The Steamboat band were warned that if anything happened they must play on. They’re all young guys playing Black Crowes/Faces type of music. I think they’d been quite shy during most of the shows but tonight they were around and quite talkative. The soundcheck went well and the meal at the venue was great. We headed out down the front and to the arcade with the bike game. Again, we put a fair amount of money into it. We arrived back at the venue later and to my surprise Pat and Viv still hadn’t turned up yet. I rang my parents to find out that they’d started out earlier afternoon. They should have been there by 5/6pm. It was 7pm and still no sign of them. Maybe the car had broken down again. They turned up at around 7:30pm and had been stuck on the M25.

I was relieved to see my car working again. On the bus, I asked Bob about the final European show and he gave me all the flight and hotel details. During the Steamboat Band’s last number, Joe and Roy got onstage and removed all the kit except for the snare drum and hi-hat. The band played on but laughing their heads off at the drummers plight. Before Cry of Love took the stage, Joe replaced the bands set list with some I’d written out. On here I’d written I’M A MOVER, HIGHWAY STAR, FREEBIRD, STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN etc, etc With video camera in hand, I joined James on the mixing stand and Joe stepped out to introduce them. At Southend the band, the crew and the fans and a party. The audience was great and the band rewarded that. They also burst into most of the songs that I’d put on the dummy set-list which freaked me right out. Audley did the intro to HIGHWAY STAR and they broke into FREEBIRD during one of the solo’s. He also showed the audience his set-list which cracked them up. Later there was chaos as the whole of the Steamboat Band and Roy wandered onstage to dance around and moon! They ended up doing a number together. The encore was very long too. About 30 minutes. Not bad for a band who were supposed to finish early for a drive to the airport! Following the show, they signed everything thrust at them and decided to hang around for a while. Pat and Viv grew impatient to start back, so I started on the goodbyes. This must have took over 90 minutes as it seemed no-one wanted me to go and I didn’t want to leave either! I went to see Joe first and he was about as upset to see the end as I was. Jason was on the bus, so he was next. He was cool about it and said some nice stuff. Back to the venue to see Roy, his next job was Metallica, lucky git. Then Bob, who was sat at the bar. “You’re not going anywhere yet Dave!” Kelly came over, smiled and put his arm over my shoulder. Actions speak louder than words. We stood talking at the bar for a while and made some tentative plans for October, when I intend to go to the States and see them for a couple of weeks. Robert was next. “Oh No! Are you going?” By now I was starting to well-up somewhat and was kinda glad to see Audley busy talking to the guitar player from The Hamsters. A quick goodbye and we were off. But not quite. I wandered back up to Bob. “Maybe I’ll come to Denmark”. “Dave, if you do, we’ll have a gas”. And we hit the road. From this show, the band split to different locations. Robert stayed in London with Paola. Audley was off to Paris to meet his girlfriend Jen and have a very well-earned holiday. Bob, James and Jason were all going home. But I knew there was one more show to do, a festival in Denmark on June 26th. Didn’t know if I could afford it but…

BACK ON THE ROAD AGAIN
Arrived home at about 6am Tuesday morning and went to bed totally exhausted. When I finally got up I made an attempt to catch up on some of the mail. Thursday, I went back to work. Boy it was dull. Friday was a short day and not so bad. Saturday, I went over to see Rabbit but it didn’t take him or Sue long to work out I was a bit depressed. Sunday I was back at work, another short day. No big deal. Monday was a bad day. No particular reason or explanation, just a bad day. I rang Bob that night. “Bob, I’m coming to Denmark. I’m going to sort out the flights tomorrow”. He rang back about twenty minutes later. “Dave, you can get a ticket for our flight out but there’s no seats on the plane back, you might have to stay over an extra day!”, “Oh dear…Well I’ll check it out tomorrow anyway. “How much is the hotel?”, “Oh, no problem Dave, you can share with Kelly, he’s on his own anyway as Audley’s with his girlfriend.” Tuesday at work was shite too. Afterwards, I went straight into town and sorted out the flights. I got the flight to Billund, Denmark that I wanted but, sure enough, I couldn’t get on the flight back. However, there was another flight about five hours later, I was quite prepared to hassle for a seat there with my later flight ticket or wait for the next one. I didn’t care, by now, I’d made up my mind I’d have swum over if I’d had to! Rang Bob back to confirm I was going. “It’s booked Bob, but don’t tell the band!” He laughed. Wednesday went much better. I took Thursday off and tang in sick. Man I just felt so ill, you know? I used the day to finish off the mail and post-off the last few FAS 61’s. 4am Friday I was on my way to Gatwick Airport. YES! YES! YES!

Good job I started out early, about 30 miles from Gatwick, my car starts making these funny noises. Better check the oil I thought. As I slow down to pull over, smoke starts to billow from the front. As I stop on the hard shoulder, the car is engulfed in smoke. I carefully lift the bonnet to find the engine on FIRE! ARRGHHH! I try to put it out with a rag, bad move! Eventually I blow it out! It’s true. It flared up again and I blew it out again. This time it just smouldered and I stood there swearing. The engine was covered in oil which had come up through the breather pipes in to the air filter. This was then leaking onto the manifold and exhaust, hence the fire. I thought…It’s too far to walk, I won’t make the flight. It’s going to be difficult to hitch (too early and not enough cars), I’m going to HAVE to drive! I stripped the air filter off and poured out about a pint of oil. I then wiped everything down, getting off as much oil as possible. I tried the key and after a couple of groans it started. I did the rest of the journey at about 20MPH. I didn’t care. I got to Gatwick and parked in the long-term car park. I felt the weight lift from my shoulders. PHEW, made it! I caught the bus and headed to the airport. While in the departure lounge I ran into Robert. “Man, you’re coming with us, that’s great!”. When our call came up, we headed to our gate but found the others, coming from the States (Audley & Jen were meeting the band in Denmark), weren’t there. We waited for the last call… still no sign of anyone. Robert went to the desk to enquire: “No, they haven’t booked in yet, but you’ll have to get on the plane”. We waited a little longer and the guy made further enquiries finding out that they’d just arrived and were coming to the gate. We were moved out to board the plane, which involved a short bus ride. The coach was very hot and I told Robert I hoped it wasn’t a really small plane. “Naw, it’ll be this one” he said pointing. We drove straight past heading for a smaller one. “Look, it’s that one. That’s not too small.” Again we drove straight past and pulled up alongside a small plane. “Well maybe it is small…” We both laughed. We boarded and Robert headed to his seat up at the back. I was sat at two rows behind first class. We waited and eventually we heard the others get on. Bob saw me straight away. “Dave, you made it. Good to see ya.” James was next and he just plonked himself down on the row of empty seats in front of me. “Nice one Dave” he laughed. Kelly was next. He looked dead on his feet. “This is Wild…” were his first words. He sank into the row of seats on the opposite aisle. James informed me they’d changed their flight at the last minute but had already been up some 12/14 hours! Also their luggage has gone AWOL. We took off and once in the air, I moved forward and joined James on his empty row. This was great, plenty of room to spread out. As usual he’d bought loads of goodies from the USA. We’d only been in the air five minutes and I was asking him to save me some of his peanut popcorn (which was cool!). James was actually looking pretty fresh. Opposite, Kelly was flicking through a book of unusual facts and occasionally laughing and passed it over for me to read, pointing out a good section. The flight was smooth and went quickly. Duty-Free came around and I couldn’t help myself, getting a bottle of vintage Port and a bottle of Glenfiddich Scotch. I’ve only ever been on a plane once, but was so ill that small planes scare the shit out of me. I don’t mind going up and I don’t mind flying but landing can be a real problem. I was more than a little relieved to feel the wheels hit and land in sunny Denmark.

THE FART PLAN
Everyone has kinda hoped the luggage would turn up in Denmark but there was no such luck. Jason was REALLY bummed out by this. Kelly just shrugged and said “Oh Well” as we played with the double set of automatic doors leading from Arrivals to the main lobby of the airport. After everybody made their complaints known, we finally went to the lobby and to the waiting bus. Bob popped into the information desk and came back with a pile of yellow papers. They were bus timetables and were headed “The Fart Plan”. We all fell about laughing and Kelly went to get some for himself! The drive to the hotel was about an hour and this was still two hours from the festival site but we were staying there as it was close to the airport and the flight back on Monday was pretty early. Beer bottles rolled to and fro, and the driver informed us he’d just dropped Johnny Cash off for his flight. Seems they had a bit of an early morning party! Denmark Rolled past the window and Kelly said it reminded him of where he grew up. Everything was green and lush and not unlike Wales or the South of England. The houses were all very neat and it was nice to see plenty of space between them. The hotel was up a huge hill with woods all around. Although we didn’t know it at the time, once up there you were basically trapped, the only escape a £12 taxi ride to the town! Everyone checked in and went off to find the rooms. We were all along the right hand stretch of a long corridor, right at the bloody end of it. The room was cool: two good sized beds, a long sofa, TV with cable, a really neat balcony with table and chairs…and a mini-bar! I showed Kelly the Scotch and his eyes lit up as he read the label. I opened the port and took a hit. It was good. In fact it was very, very good…So I took another! Kelly took a look and had a sniff. “MMmmm smells good”, “Smells like Christmas” I told him as he took a swallow. We talked for a while and I gave him some cassettes of music we’d spoken about while in England. A compilation of John Martyn stuff I’d put together, and some other bits and pieces for him to try. After a while, he started to flake out so I went exploring while he caught some ZZZzzz’s.

I wandered down and found the pool and sauna. Coming back upstairs I located the two restaurants and saw Bob and James sitting out on a huge wooden balcony at the back of the hotel with a fantastic view of the woods and fjord below us. They called me over and asked me to join them. I told them Kelly was asleep. “Yeah, we’re beat too, but what the hell. Just look at that view”, came the wisdom from the Bobman. We ordered some beers, kicked our feet up and idly chatted while we soaked in the scenery. Robert came out and joined us too. We must have been out there a few hours and I headed back to see if Kelly was alive. The man was snoring his head off, so I went out onto the balcony to find Audley popping his head round the corner. He’d just arrived and he started to tell me about his holiday. It sounded like he had a great time too. Kelly stirred and popped his head out. Around this time Roy appeared, having flown over on what he swears was the smallest plane in the world: “I could see the pilot having his lunch, and I was at the back!” There was only one thing to do. Head to the bar downstairs and shoot some pool, and that’s what we did. But not before the Port bottle hit the bin. Last thing I remember really. The rest is stuff I was told. I apparently uttered the usual ‘I’ll drink you all’ bravado as we got back to the room and I fell onto the bed unconscious! Kelly told me the next day he took photo’s of the whole event. Bastard! They must have gone out again as I woke around 1:30am when he came back into the room. I was handed a pile of vitamins and two painkillers + a large glass of water. I don’t think they even hit the sides! Waking again at around 10am, I moved very slowly expecting the after effects and hangover to kick in as soon as I moved…But it didn’t! I got up and felt absolutely fine. Got a shower, cleaned me teeth and went in search of some breakfast. Robert and Roy were already out the back. The food didn’t look great so I ordered coffee. That was good. We sat out the back like we owned the place. Audley and Jen came out and joined us. They ordered food and more coffee. Audley couldn’t wait and had some of mine. “You know you’re an adult when you get excited about coffee”, he said laughing. Plans were being made. Let’s get some bikes and go for a ride, let’s go to the poll, let’s go horse-back riding! That one won the day and it was arranged for the afternoon. Robert went down the mass of steps from the balcony to explore. He kinda regretted it when later he had to come back up them! Again, we all sat for a t least a couple of hours. Then Robert came back and decided he wanted a bike so he could go for a ride. I intended to go to the pool but never made it. Back at the room, Kelly was just about awake and kinda ready to get up – maybe.

Mid-afternoon, we took the walk to the stables. It was longer than we expected and very hot. I felt hay fever start to kick in. Bob and James copped out and I went to take some photo’s. The horses were huge! It was a laugh watching people get used to the idea of not being in control. “Pull back hard to stop” said the owner but Roy’s horse just kept going…Back at the hotel later I was sneezing my head off and took a long cool shower to tray and shake it off. It was time for food. Everything at the hotel was expensive. It was about £2.50 for a bottle of Pils from the mini-bar in the room and more like £3.25 from the waiter service. As Audley wandered about the corridor outside our rooms playing guitar, Kelly and myself decided to spend a bit of cash and eat well. We headed to the expensive restaurant and ordered a fish dish. It was about £15-20 if I remember correctly. It took ages to arrive but when it did, the whole thing was served up at the table (not just plonked in front of you on a plate) and I swear every mouthful was AWESOME! Worth every penny. By the time we’d finished we were well and truly stuffed. If we thought the food took a long time, waiting for the bill was ridiculous and took about 45 minutes AT LEAST! Back at the room we headed onto the balcony and took the Scotch, two glasses, some ice and talked about music. After a few hours, the Scotch ran dry and it looked like we’d have to go to the bar or get room service. I went back into the room and turned the key to the min-bar, taking out the first two cool Holsten Pils bottles. “Hell, I’d forgotten all about that” said a surprised Kelly.

PORN FOR ALL!
At around 11pm, the telephone rang. I didn’t know who it was but Kelly went in and answered it. A few seconds later he shouted “look at this!” and laughing, pulled the curtains back. Jason had found a hardcore porn channel on the cable TV, and it really was serious stuff! Robert wandered in. “Oh my life! How did you find out about that?”, “We didn’t”, Kelly filled him in. “Jason did”. The channel ran for about an hour or two (in the morning the same channel had kids cartoons!) and after the entertainment finished we headed down for some pool. Without divulging too much, one enterprising chap from our party had found out how to get free drinks…So we indulged. Not too much though as next day it was an early start to the festival site…Well Okay, maybe we did have a few too many!

HEY HO, HERE WE GO
Both myself and Kelly were up on time thanks to Bobzilla’s very early morning call. After vitamins, painkillers and water, I hit the shower and then ordered some much needed coffee from the room service. There was plenty of it and it tasted mighty fine. We sat and supped. Kelly’s lack of clothes for stage was covered when I shoed him my Misfits T-Shirt. “That’s cool”. “Yeah, but it’s getting old, there’s a few holes”, I replied. “Hell, they add character. I can tell you’ve had some good times in this shirt.” He was right too. I bought it on my first trip to New York and have been wearing it pretty much every other week since! I bought a Hendrix one at the same time. Now that really does have some serious holes…

We headed down to reception to find the Bobman buzzing around getting everyone together. The bus was here and we headed outside. As usual, Jason was the most together and the first one out. I took one look at the bus and thought to myself “Oh dear, small bus”. It was rather like a comfortable version of the old Transit school bus but, with all of us in it, it was a bit tight for space. I made sure I was sat against the door and wondered of I’d make the two hour journey over to the festival site. Sure enough, after about 30 minutes I started to feel pretty grim, but decided to grin and bear it. About an hour in I had serious cold sweats and my palms were damp. Slow, deep breaths and look straight out of the front window. This didn’t ease up during the next hour but I made it. Up ahead was the festival site, loads of people everywhere. The last five or so minutes over the field were done on what felt like a road of rollercoaster picket fences. When the bus stopped I was out like a shot. The Steward gave us wrist bands for food and the usual sticky passes. “You feeling OK Dave?” asked Kelly. “Getting better” was the only reply I could muster. I was thinking about the journey back! We all piled back in and drove the final few minutes to the backstage area. No dressing rooms were ready yet but Bobzilla informed us breakfast was being served. I needed coffee. We headed back to the catering tent, which was small but full of the coolest looking pastries and cheeses. I picked something up and took a bit, kind of a thick date paste on a light puff pastry. It was good so I got a plate and picked up two more, then went to the coffee machine, got a big cup and some orange juice. That was me fixed up. The idea of a cooked breakfast didn’t float too well. I felt like shit actually! Audley discovered he had left his camera and sunglasses on the bus, which had now gone to pick up other acts. We headed into the tent with seats and tables and for the first time saw the festival poster and line-up. The Midtfyns festival ran for five days (22,23,24,25,26 June) and the musical content was incredibly diverse. I guess this was Denmark’s equivalent of Glastonbury. Lots of ‘World’ music spread out over about three different stages and then some more international acts on a main stage. Among the names on the list were Steve Lukather, Sass Jordon, Roachford, BBM, Mr Big, Rage against the Machine, Spin Doctors, Therapy?, Johnny Cash & Whitesnake. We seemed to have hit the strangest billing and Cry of Love were on a bill featuring John Hyatt, two or three local acts and headliner Huey Lewis? Weird. Dressing room finally ready, we headed back there to chill and dump the small amount of baggage we had. The dressing room was a trailer of good size with a couple of small sofas and plenty of chairs. Food, including plenty of fruit and snacks, filled a long table against one wall. There was also a couple of cases of beer, lots of water and various fruit juice. I took a wander up to the stage with Kelly. It was pretty big and the first band were getting set-up and soundchecked. The first thing we noticed was how cold it was. Although the day was pretty cloudy, it wasn’t too cool at all on the fround but on the stage the wind blew straight in from the front and made a lot of difference. It was blowing a gale! “you might need to borrow my leather jacket” I offered. “I might just take you up on that Dave.” The first band came on and were pretty good. Some nice boogie blues in there but after a while it all started to sound the same. In the dressing room, Audley was warming up with his Strat and doing interviews for the local radio and press with Kelly. A couple of journalists obviously didn’t know anything about the band and when Audley left the room for some reason (coffee I think!) I was playing his guitar and one guy came in and started interviewing me! I thought a couple of these guys were actually quite rude and we spoke about this afterwards. One bloke asked some awful questions and Jen sat with me trying SO hard not too laugh! We just looked at each other in disbelief!

The show was being recorded by local radio and having quite a long set available to them, the band decided to mess about with the arrangements. It was decided that the jamming section of DRIVE IT HOME would run into the Allman’s WHIPPING POST. Robert and Audley sat just running through some of the changes. Showtime came around and Robert passed me his video camera to film some of the show. I gave Kelly my jacket when we got to the steps up to the stage. It was pretty windy. Considering they hadn’t played for almost a couple of weeks, they started very strongly indeed. The sound was good and the sun came out. The crowd was smaller than I expected right at first but once they’d started the set it soon swelled and they certainly made plenty of noise! I filmed from the back left for a while and then went over to where the Bobman had his guitar tech stuff set-up. I tried to keep out of his way but after a few minutes I felt him grab my shoulders and push me out onto the stage! This put me stage right, but to the middle of the performance area. This meant the camera was un-obscured and the filming looked great. Every now and then I’d stop and reel off some photographs. I made sure I got DRIVE IT HOME and the version of WHIPPING POST they inserted was AWESOME. They just about played the whole bloody thing and some of Audley’s guitar playing was making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up like spikes! It was worth travelling just for this. There was also blistering versions of PEACE PIPE and HIGHWAY JONES. The whole band were having a great time playing and were smiling and laughing the whole way through. Audley got a bit bummed out by the wind continually covering his face with hair but it wasn’t too brutal and during one solo he came and stuck his guitar and then his face right up to the camera lens. It was fun. The show flew past. At the end, the audience gave them a fantastic reception and they went down very well. We headed back to the dressing room and then were invited into the mobile to hear the recording. It sounded good. At one point, Kelly had done a rap. “My one skin lies over my two skin” You can guess the rest. They played us this bit back and everyone cracked up. Show over, it was time for a beer and chill out. Roy and Robert headed out onto the site for a walk around. They came back with all sorts of stories so both Kelly and I went back out with them. The site was huge with loads of people, all ages. From whole families to old couples. The other stages were in tents but were pretty big affairs and very loud.. One band had the loudest bass drum I’ve ever heard! We found a circus show with a family that did stunts on unicycles an d stuff. Roy decided to have a go and found it much harder than he expected. Us chickens stood on the sidelines and laughed everytime he hit the deck, which was often. Further round was a skin painting stall where the ladies were having their breasts painted. That was nice…! At the other end of the site was a large market with lots of head stalls and T-shirts, leather goods etc I felt like buying. Back on the main stage John Hyatt was playing a scorcher and his young band were kicking it along. The guitar player, complete with backwards baseball cap sounded more like Neil Young than Neil Young does! Following that was a band from Denmark who played lots of late 60’s, early 70’s stuff but sang in Danish. Very strange but obviously a very popular band and they pulled a big crowd. As Huey Lewis hit the stage we were getting in to the bus to drive back to the hotel for a quiet drink before bedtime and a 5am, early morning call for the bus to the airport. Audley asked about his camera but it had vanished, never to be seen again – along with all his pictures. Although dreading the journey back, I was fine and didn’t suffer at all. Back at the hotel, we dumped the gear and headed down to the pool room for a drink and a game. Roy was determined to get everyone ripped as this was his last night with the band before joining the Metallica tour. Also, unlike us, his flight wasn’t until 3pm (ours was 7:15am). The ‘free’ beer flowed like…beer and the fart plan really got going tonight as Bobzilla decided to gas us all. BUT it was Robert’s ‘silent but deadly’ that really cleared the room! Jesus, what had he been eating! The one quiet drink turned into several and everyone got pretty well out if it. Bob was the first to cop out (YOU PUSSY!) and we continued into the early hours. I was amazed to find myself winning a good number of games even though I couldn’t focus my eyes properly! At about 1:30am it was down to me, Kelly, Robert and a very drunk Roy. We decided it was time for bed and headed to our rooms. Like fools, neither me or Kelly locked our door and within minutes, Roy and Robert came crashing in with a FULL CASE of beer! “Party’s in your room guys!” Roy kindly informed us. After half an hour, I got into bed and left Kelly to clear them out!

ROLLING HOME AGAIN
The coffee I’d ordered the night before arrived seconds after our wake up call. Strangely, I felt great? Bob had craftily arranged his call half an hour after ours but I’d heard him doing this so I rang his room hoping to scare the shit out of him. The phone was picked up immediately. The bastard was already up! A quick shower and down to the waiting bus. It was here Bob informed us that Roy’s room door was open. Maybe we should all go in and say goodbye! We all piled in, pulled off his sheets, jumped about on his bed and took photographs. Roy complained, he felt awful “leave me alone…” he sobbed. But hell, that didn’t stop us! In the lobby we were getting rid of change and stuff. On reception, they had some confectionary and we’d all noticed one particular item that has caused much amusement when we originally checked in. “What are you after Dave?” Bob enquired. “I’m going to get some of that spunk for a friend at work, he’ll love it!. “Yeah! Hang on! I want some too!” Without any further prompting, Bob asked the young lady (and very attractive) girl on reception. “What’s that spunk stuff?”, “It’s a kind of liquorice”, she replied, totally unflustered. “Great, two varieties. Give us five boxes of each!” said the Bobman. I took two of each, Bob had the others (back at work Charlie, my boss, opened his to find them sperm shaped (tadpoles) and slightly salty – very weird…) We got on the bus and drove at breakneck speed to the airport. I felt like I was in a Yellow cab in New York. “I love it”, laughed Bob. I was sure the guy was going to kill us all. Some of his overtaking was outrageous. On check-in, I hassled for a seat (remember, I wasn’t supposed to catch this flight). I was booked in on standby, so far, so good. We hung around in departures looking around the small array of shops (one had salami in the ice-cream freezer!) then, after the queue had gone, we went to the gate. Everyone got ready to depart but I had to wait. We all said our goodbyes just in case I couldn’t get on. I watched as they got on the plane and was left standing by the desk at the gate. “Two people not booked in yet”, I was told. “you might be OK”. Then one of them showed up. “I’ll stand if I have to”, I said, trying to be helpful. But the gate doors were locked. “Oh shit! Looks like I’m stuck here then?”, “No, it’s OK, you can get on in a minute. The gates locked as another plane is about to take off. It’s a safety thing”. “YES YES YES…! A few minutes later the doors swung open and I wandered across the tarmac with the pilot! Once on the plane I found myself sat behind Audley, “Oh man, you made it. That’s cool”. Yup sure was. The flight was fine, with Kelly raving about how good the eggs were. Back at Gatwick, the search for the lost luggage resumed. It was finally located at Heathrow and was to be flown back to the States. Good news. I thought about from hell and my long drive home. I decided to hang out until they caught the plane. I wandered downstairs to the shops and restaurants with Audley. We got some coffee and James joined us. The others were nowhere to be seen. We sat talking for a while and then had a walk round the shops finally heading back upstairs towards the departures area. After some fond farewells they wandered in to wait for the plane and after a final wave I was off to fight wit the car, or so I thought. I wandered through the check-in part and found Robert, Bob, Kelly all sat where they’d checked in. “Where the hell have you been?” said Bob. “I told you we were going downstairs to the shops for some coffee and a walk around. I thought you’d gone into departures?”, “Hell, we weren’t invited. We’ve just been sat here. Where are the shops?”, “Downstairs, I told you, there’s shops and restaurants and stuff.” “Well, I didn’t hear you. Lead the way. Let’s go eat!”. So off downstairs I went again. We got some food and found one of those bike games from Southend in an arcade. That provided some good fun but it was double the price of the other one! Bob found an Our Price and bought a few more CD’s. I even bought three myself. Then again, I found myself at the gate and more goodbyes. It was hard and I’d have loved to have just got on that plane. Next up was a headlining tour of the States until the end of July (I think). Some incredibly long drives involved between gigs including one of 880 miles. You’d have been carrying me off in a bucket after doing that in a bus! I said farewell to my briothers and felt the old eyes filling up. I thanked Bob again for all he’d done. He ALWAYS says it’s nothing but in fact it’s a lot, and I don’t forget. “It’s been a blast Dave. Always good to have you onboard. We’ll see you in the States in October”. And they were off…and so was I.

THE ROAD TO HELL
I got the bus back to the long-term car park and it was here I found out for sure that I’d parked in the WRONG long term. I kinda thought I had while on the plane over but was so relieved to get to Gatwick that I just pulled into the first long-term I found, expecting the car to explode at any minute! I dug into my bag and pulled out my pre-paid ticket to check. Yup, wrong one. Another £15 down the pan. Still, who cares! I crumpled up the ticket and dropped it in the bin. There was the car, looking all innocent and sadly not the burnt out shell I’d kinda hoped to find. I lifted the bonnet, took everything to bits and wiped all the oil out of the air-filter, from off the rocker box, around the manifold. I checked the water and filled up with oil. I crossed my fingers and turned the key. The car started first time. No problem, but I knew it was going to be a slow drive home and just hoped I’d miss the bad traffic on the M25. It was around 1:30pm, so I’d missed the morning traffic and should get tot the M1 before the 5pm lunacy starts. I paid and left the car park. Heading out onto the M23, the short trek that leads to Gatwick, I ran straight into dead traffic. I couldn’t believe it, I’d only been driving for a bout three minutes. I watched the engine temperature rise and smoke start creeping from the bonnet. “Oh, No, Please”. Fortunately it never got too bad and must have been the remaining gunk burning off the exhaust. I drove at around 30/40 mph. The car sounded okay but I didn’t want to push my luck. It’s a long walk! On the M25, the traffic started to build up. At one point I was bumper to bumper in one lane with cones all around. Move a yard, stop. Move three yards, stop. You know the score. Then it happens… The car stalled and the engine being hot was so tight the starter motor wouldn’t even turn it. There was one line ONLY, nowhere to go. I tried again. Nope. “Oh shit!” I got out and behind me was the biggest lorry I’d ever seen. I moved some of the cones and pushed the car onto the side feeling like a right prick! I just kinda sat there for a while occasionally trying the engine and hearing the battery and starter motor struggle, without success. I’d have to let it cool right down and then try. I got out and checked the oil (which was fine and not running all over the outside of the engine) and the water. The traffic hardly moved and everyone had a good look as they went past. I just pretended they weren’t there and read the copy of Guitar World that Bob had given me. After about an hour of scorching in the car (it was intensely hot that Monday) I tried the key and after a struggle the car burst into life. The bonnet was still up so I got out to speed the tick-over a bit, to help stop the same thing happening again. I drove along inside the cones for a bit to make sure everything was okay and then moved a couple over and pulled back into the line. I solely edged my way back to Nottingham. About half way up the M1, after hours of slow driving, I HAD to stop for petrol. I was scared the car wouldn’t restart but in fact it wasn’t a problem. At around 8:30pm I pulled up at home, more than a little relieved.

Tuesday was spent recovering and playing music while catching up on the mail from you guys. Rich came down in the afternoon and caught up on the news from Denmark. That evening, we went out for a quiet drink with Vic who was equally keen to know what had gone off. Wednesday was pretty much the same. Nice and relaxed. Thursday it was time to go back to work, which went down better than the time before. No Denmark to throw me off this time but I’m very much looking forward to October, when as Bob put it “we’ll just be sitting on our asses!” I’m pretty sure that they won’t be actually as they’ll be doing preparation for the second album, but it’ll be interesting to see what material they’ve got ready. During my three and half weeks out with the band, I’ve learnt quite a lot about how a professional band lives. I’ve done this stuff myself for years, playing around the UK, but I’ve never been involved with anything of this scale. There’s a lot of travelling and an awful lot of sitting around waiting. Waiting to soundcheck, waiting for the show, waiting to use the toilet on the bus when someone’s in there and you’re dying to go! It was an awful lot of fun too. I’ve learnt more about the band as people, although my opinion hasn’t changed at all. In fact I’m even more sure of it now. These people are well cool and great company. Their honesty and spirit of generosity is overwhelming and equally humbling. As Joe said to the staff and owners at the Rockhouse in Norwich, “these guys will nice you to death”! It’s been my total pleasure to have spent any amount of time with them and I wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere else. There are many stories I haven’t told of course, but there’s always another time. May they have much success. I want the new album NOW! And Audley…Don’t you dare touch that logo…!